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Lio
Dat forehead

YOU WILL NEVER BE THIS BIG BRAINED

Lionblaze is a golden tabby (she-)tom that has amber eyes.


Mate: Gingerz, Purdystar(formally)

Daughters: Morningdawn, Lilytiger, Pinkspot, Nightpaw, Midnightpaw, Splashpaw, Blazekit, Mosskit, Mystickit, Streakkit, Ripplekit, Mazekit, Beekit, Stripekit

Sons: Shadowblood, Smokepaw, Blazekit, Mystickit, Shadowkit, Stripekit

Mother: Leafpool

Father: Crowfeather

Brothers: Jayfeather, Breezepelt(half), Sonic The Hedgehog, Captain Falcon.

Sister: Hollyleaf


BIOGRAFFY

Lionkit, Hollykit and Jaykit were all born as triplets to Leafpool and probably destroyed her vagina on their way out. Leafpool knew their father was Crowfeather and spent the whole pregnancy eating parsley potatoes to hide the scent, and everyone just assumed she became fat because of it. Little did she know that the parsley gave her kits superpowers! On the day that they were borned, Leafpool gave her kits to her sister Squirrelflight because she didn't want the clan to know, in her words, that she "had sex with one of them there darkies in Windclan." Squirrelflight obliged, and Brambleclaw was too stupid to know how pregnancy or something because his father was never around to tell him.

Jaypaw was the first to discover his supoerpower, and Lionpaw wanted one too, so he went to the gym and started lifting until he became indestructible god mode and shit, and got named Lionblaze because of all the weed he smoked. Hollypaw tried to kill herself because Starclan didn't give her any superpowers, but was so stupid she killed Ashfur instead, then went into a hole somewhere to talk to ghosts for like 7 books or something.

During the battle between the cats of the Dark Forest and Starclan, Lionblaze was attacked by Breezepelt, his half-brother. Crowfeather saved Lionblaze by pulling his son off of him, called him a retard for picking a fight with the only cat in the books that was actually invincible, then took him home for a time out. Lionblaze learned a valuable lesson that day that not all black cats are bad, and racism is never the answer.

Lionblaze was present whenever Squirrelflight pulled Bramblestar aside after the battle whenever she gave him "the talk," which he demonstrated by having sex with Heathertail. This lead to the eventual birth of his kits, and a messy afterbirth.



Abilities

In addition to being good at battle, Lionblaze is good at battle.

  • Lion-blazing - Lionblaze can smoke up to five pounds of weed in a single toke. This gives him a sense of invulnerability in battle as this ability delays pain reactions in his body by five hours.
  • Subtle Racism - Lionblaze can shout ethnic and racial slurs are Windclan cats to reflect his own self-hatred at his Windclan half-blood
  • Clan-mixing - Lionblaze being half-Windclan means he isn't bound by either Thunderclan or Windclan flanderization, thus he's very versatile in combat like most half-clan cats
  • "Helllooooooo" - Once per moon Lionblaze can turn into George Takei. Everyone hates this

Trivia

  • Lionblaze's is the Thunderclan residential expert on grape juice. His favorite brand is some organic type found at your supermarket that you've never heard of
  • Lionblaze is actually the smallest cat of "The Three." He just looks the biggest because of the sunlight.
  • Lionblaze is half-black. Therefore, he can say the n-word.
  • Why is my peepee hard?